...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
