he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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