just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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