I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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