you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
