And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
