Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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