so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
