oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
