You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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