We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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