Got a toothbrush?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He better not be in your backpack
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
