i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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