whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
