my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
