The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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