google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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