exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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