he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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