i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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