apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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