all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just invented taco cereal.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
