your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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