beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
