these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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