I wish I could punch you in the face.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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