carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
