im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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