Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
