what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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