I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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