why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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