She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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