Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
