You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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