We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
