What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
