You're so nebulous sometimes
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
