it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The beer is more important than you right now.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
