You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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