So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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