Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
