he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
