Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
