Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
