Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Randomize
