I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I have post one night stand depression
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