oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
