I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
