my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
